5 Epic Cruise Lessons

I have returned from my recent cruise to the Bahamas and I am skeptical about the “fun” people are having on these fun ships. I must admit, my cruise was unique; even the news covered it. (News4Jax coverage of Cruise) Here are some lessons learned, although I am not sure how epic they really are.

#5 – If you want to smuggle something in or blow something up, do it on a cruise. One of the screening checks on the way in consisted of the security gate inspectors sticking his head into our shuttle van and asking us if we had any weapons. Ummm…..no…??? On the way out, I was not checked nor charged for the numerous over the limit duty-free vodka in my bags. Security is not secure on cruise ships. Just sayin’.

#4 – Free is not always good. I am truly disgusted by the amount of people that appear to go on cruises simply for the all you can eat 24/7 food options…buffet, sit down, room service. Just because it is free, does not mean it is good for you. The average stomach is the same size as your fist. People were walking to their tables with 2 or more plates of food piled high with 3-4 times the amount of food portions that should be digested; so unhealthy. I think my sister said it best, “I’m no health nut, but there are some pretty disgusting things happening on this boat.” The physical trainer I spoke with told me that the average cruiser gains 7-14 pounds during one trip. Holy cannoli! I don’t want to be average.

#3 – All people puke sometimes. Most people puke on rocking boats. For about 27 hours, the cruise was almost like a scene from the Titanic. I believe it possible that the boat may have been attacked by a family of giant squids. People were injured…one lady knocked out cold after a fall down the stairs, a few people on crutches, some lady in a wheelchair got beat up pretty bad. Remember all that free food that people gorged themselves on? Yeah. Want to guess how that turned out? The ship rocking closed the gift shops as items were falling off of shelves and breaking. The bar was closed temporarily as all of the glasses fell to the ground. Shows were cancelled because it was impossible to stand upright for any period of time. Waves were coming up over the ship and flooded rooms in the front and the back of the boat. Electricity actually went out in these sections of the boats. People were sea-sick; they were sick from other people puking and probably scared sick. I stayed tipsy and that seemed to work well.

#2 – Land Sickness is real. Seriously. I am sick today (2 days home) and have the tendency to bump into things because I am dizzy.  I was not sick on the boat despite the 40 foot waves and 70+ mph winds (Big Waves and Wind), but apparently land is not such a good thing for me this week. How does that happen? It’s a condition coined Mal de Debarquement Syndrome literally translated as “sickness of disembarkment”. No bueno.

#1 – My family is fabulous. (a.k.a. Being in 40 foot waves brings clarity.) Okay – so this is not really a lesson, more of a reaffirmation. The majority of my recent extended family interactions have been good examples of the definition that urban dictionary provides, “A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.” (except we haven’t had dinner together in forever). I am unbelievably thankful for the family I have that believes in the unwritten definition we share. My family has a genuine care and concern for each other and are able to step into that space even if it has been a long time since we last interacted. There is love there. There is an investment in each other. It is unconditional. It is not temporary. It is not greedy. It is forever. This is what family is to me.  This cruise reminded me of the definition of family that I want and need to have in my life. I love my extended family and am so thankful for the times shared together – big waves or not.


2 thoughts on “5 Epic Cruise Lessons

  1. Please do not stop writing, Alice. I am thoroughly enjoying everything you write. We need to get you hooked up with some social media and RSS stuff on here to make it easier for people to follow you. 😉

    I think the waves would have spazzed me out to no end. Vodka would have been my answer for that, too.

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